2017 held the happiest, best moments of my life, and also the worst, and darkest. I married an amazing man and partner, but lost my best friend. They say the first year of marriage is one of the hardest, and I can see that, but I think it adds pressure when one or both members of the relationship experiences a huge loss. However, I must say, Kyle has handled it with grace. It’s hard to know what to do or say when our loved one is grieving so deeply. Even as the griever, often times I don’t even know what I need. I’m angry for no reason, withdrawn, and I don’t recall a day I’ve gone without crying. Something that made me laugh yesterday, can make me fall apart today. I often wonder if it feels like walking in a landmine in the dark with me. I often fear that him seeing me in so much grief makes him wonder if I’m any less excited that I’m his wife. I recently listened to a podcast on grief and the man shared, “I can be both broken and whole in the spaces of life and death.” I can say wi