Be Not Afraid

A friend recently told that grief is unnatural for us because we weren't supposed to experience it, (see Genesis for further explanation). That totally hit home for me, because I think that's why I find myself in total shock at times. It is such an unnatural feeling and you don't get a timeout to process it. You're supposed to pick up your life and keep trucking. You're still expected to laugh at people's jokes and not cringe when someone says they're "dying" from same said joke. Like I've said before, I repeatedly want to push the pause button, and I can't. So how do you balance the need to grieve, but also make it through the work-day without crying on your keyboard? I haven't figured this out, but I know that it is normal. I think it is important to let yourself embrace the waves of grief when they come, because if you don't, those waves turn into a tsunami. I like to compare grief to weather because I think they both are ju

Some days the grief hits me harder than others. This Saturday was one of those days. There is some disbelief that remains that I need to navigate through. It's still so hard to believe that the last nine months happened. I feel like one morning I'll wake up and it really was all a bad nightmare. I look at her picture when I read my bible each night before I go to bed and I think every time that I can't believe that it's real. I have hand written prayers in there from her surgery, and her hard days that I feel like were written yesterday. I've asked God twice on really difficult days to send me a sign or something that would remind me of her or feel her somehow. I wanted to share how he answered my prayer on Saturday. My sister and brother-in-law came to visit us this weekend and we were out doing a little exploring. We were checking out this local handmade boutique when I found it. An ornament (pictured below) that not only has church sheet music on the ang