Be Not Afraid

If you know me at all, you know I love birthdays. I love your birthday, I love their birthday, and I love my birthday. I love the opportunity to celebrate another year around the sun and I love the opportunity to celebrate my loved ones. What is so great about loving birthdays is having a best friend who also loves birthdays. I shared this with Stephanie. I think that is why as soon as I woke up this morning, it hit me in the face. My first birthday without her. My first birthday without my best friend. She has been gone for six months now and the newness, reality, rawness and realization of her absence hasn't lessened. Many of you may not know, but Stephanie and I didn't live in the same state after we were ten. Yet our friendship remained and we just grew closer as the years passed. Stephanie always made sure I felt special on my birthday no matter the distance. Two years ago, she drove up 10 hours for a weekend to spend it with me. Last year, knowing that my birthday was r

This upcoming weekend holds some exciting events. Sunday is my first wedding anniversary and Monday is my birthday! In so many ways I feel like our first year of marriage has flown by, but when I think about all that has happened it is a little more believable.  Sure, I've experienced quite a few firsts without my best friend and even a few without Keith, but I'm sure any griever reading this can relate when I say, it doesn't get easier. From what I've read from other fellow grievers, the seconds are worse because people tend to only think of you and reach out when you're experiencing your firsts. I can also attest to the fact that people are less likely to reach out if you're an extended relation such as a friend or a daughter-in-law. If there is one positive thing I've gained through my grief process is perspective. I know I can and will support my people better during grief than I have before all of this happened.  Yes, grief is different for everyon