A Piece Of My Heart Has Wings

Some days the grief hits me harder than others. This Saturday was one of those days. There is some disbelief that remains that I need to navigate through. It's still so hard to believe that the last nine months happened. I feel like one morning I'll wake up and it really was all a bad nightmare.

I look at her picture when I read my bible each night before I go to bed and I think every time that I can't believe that it's real. I have hand written prayers in there from her surgery, and her hard days that I feel like were written yesterday. I've asked God twice on really difficult days to send me a sign or something that would remind me of her or feel her somehow. I wanted to share how he answered my prayer on Saturday.

My sister and brother-in-law came to visit us this weekend and we were out doing a little exploring. We were checking out this local handmade boutique when I found it. An ornament (pictured below) that not only has church sheet music on the angel wings, one of Stephanie's favorite colors, but says, "A piece of my heart has wings." It was hard not to burst into tears right then and there. How perfect?

I've said, "She is gone" so many times but this ornament is the reminder I needed. Stephanie isn't gone, she's just different. I don't know what the other-side of heaven looks like, but I know it's beyond our comprehension, and I know that my girl is living it up. Knowing all of this doesn't make me miss her any less but I'd like to think I carry a piece of her in my heart…and that part has wings.