Skip to main content

The Bookstore


If you know me, you may already know that I grew up in a book and coffee store in my small hometown in Kentucky. My godmother owned this charming store on main street and I asked her at the age of 14 if I could come work for her. She obviously obliged and from then on it quickly became my place of refuge. It’s where I found myself. While my peers were into sports and parties, I spent my time in the book stacks sipping on my latest creation. Naturally, my love for books and coffee deepened, but it’s also where I found my love for people. 

To me, Karen’s Book Barn wasn’t just a place, it was a feeling. A feeling shaped predominately by its owner, Karen, but also by its workers, and regulars. I met the most fascinating, caring, loving, remarkable people during the ten years I worked there. I can’t even begin to list all of the special people I encountered during my time there, but you all know who you are. These people became my second family. People who supported me no matter what and were always down to lend an open ear and heart. People who loved me simply because I was the girl behind Karen’s counter. But this went both ways. There is just something about selling people books and coffee that allows them to open up to you. Karen and I joked that we were basically nonalcoholic bartenders. I marvel over the amount of people who told me stories of their youth, their family, hardships, celebrations, and so forth. These were connections were real, deep, and remain so precious to me. 

My dream was always to take over the shop one day and carry on the legacy, but life had other plans. I have since moved states and after twenty years, Karen sold Karen’s Book Barn a few years ago. Even though life changed for us in great ways, there’s still something about the fall, the crispness in the air that gets me nostalgic of my beloved spot on Main Street. I get all Kathleen Kelly from You’ve Got Mail (my favorite movie, duh!) and l long to go back to those days where I helped “my people’ find their next favorite book over a mocha latte.  

So why am I posting all of this on my grief blog? I think it’s because I’m grieving the loss of this place too. Before, when life got “tough," I’d make a trip back and spend the day there. I’d catch up with “my family” and find myself again. Yet, in the past year and half, when life really has gotten as hard as it ever has, I don’t have those red doors to open and go hide out for a bit. I understand that these things are apart of life and I know I may sound a little crazy for ranting about all of this and including this into the grief over my loved ones. But sometimes grief makes a little crazy, and that’s okay. Who knows, maybe one day my husband will finally persuade me to open up my own crazy sequel to Karen’s Book Barn. Maybe then I’ll have the opportunity to establish a safe place for some other guy or girl with big dreams mixed with a lot of love for books, coffee, and people. Until then, I’ll sip on my coffee and cherish these memories for a lifetime. 


Me and Karen during Light up La Grange at the bookstore 

Me and Stephanie hanging out in the shop during one of her visits

Comments

  1. Pinotti WottiOctober 20, 2018 at 9:58 AM

    That totally made me tear up. Such beautiful memories so eloquently shared!❤️

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"A life with love is a life that has been lived"

It's been a while since I have written because I haven't felt like I have had anything profound to share. It's been a blur of taking each day as they come and surviving the waves as they show up. Mostly the grief and sadness is manageable, but there are days [or weeks], like this past one, where I'm back at square one. Square one for me is the absolute disbelief that this is real life and that they aren't coming back. How is it possible it's been ten months without Stephanie and five without Keith? I was looking at a photo slideshow of Stephanie and it was like I was realizing all over again that there will be no more new memories, I will not see that smile or hear that laugh again this side of heaven. These realizations are suffocating and I can only describe it as utter despair and devastation. I'm pretty decent at managing the tears and holding them back until I can be alone to let them fall freely and when I don't have to worry about the effect...
Post a Comment
Read more

Firsts

This upcoming weekend holds some exciting events. Sunday is my first wedding anniversary and Monday is my birthday! In so many ways I feel like our first year of marriage has flown by, but when I think about all that has happened it is a little more believable.  Sure, I've experienced quite a few firsts without my best friend and even a few without Keith, but I'm sure any griever reading this can relate when I say, it doesn't get easier. From what I've read from other fellow grievers, the seconds are worse because people tend to only think of you and reach out when you're experiencing your firsts. I can also attest to the fact that people are less likely to reach out if you're an extended relation such as a friend or a daughter-in-law. If there is one positive thing I've gained through my grief process is perspective. I know I can and will support my people better during grief than I have before all of this happened.  Yes, grief is different for everyon...
2 comments
Read more

People Don't Know How to Handle Grief.

Let me rephrase that. People don't know how to handle OTHER people's grief. They're scared of it. They skirt around it, they avoid it, sometimes even belittle it. This is one thing I've observed through this whole experience. It's interesting to see the similarities and the differences in how people respond to your grief…and I'd be lying if I didn't say that I haven't gotten frustrated over some of these responses. I can hear my husband now saying, "They're just trying to help," and I know this, but it's still hard. One of the most common reactions is how people quickly try to relate to you. You can see their brain working to figure out some similarity between what you might be feeling to something they have previously felt. This is usually followed up with, "When my so and so died…" Don't get me wrong, I have done this too, but why? Why is that the automatic response? Trying to put my feelings in a uniform box ca...
Post a Comment
Read more