Stephanie's Puzzle

For the past few months I knew I wanted to write and post something around the year anniversary of losing Stephanie. I really have been at loss, knowing I could never adequately put into words the impact of losing my best friend has been on me. Now that I’m here, on the one year anniversary of her going to heaven, I’m back in that hospital room on September 24, 2017. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I woke up this morning, 365 days without my person. Despite it being a year, I still had the knee-jerk reaction to call her to talk out why I woke up upset this morning. I still feel like I don’t have my right-hand, but honestly, I wouldn’t want it any other way. She’ll always be a part of me and it’ll always feel like a part of me is missing this side of heaven.

I've known Stephanie literally her entire life, because of that, I feel like I knew the ins-and-outs of Stephanie pretty well. However, much of our relationship has been from a distance. Despite how much I feel like I knew her, there are obvious pieces of her I didn't know because of that distance. But Stephanie had a way of pulling people together. Through her death I have become connected to and have even forged friendships of my own with other precious people she has left behind. Together we are able to create this puzzle of who Stephanie was as a person, as a mom, as a wife, as a daughter, and as a friend. It is comforting to be able to do this because we are able to keep her alive through memories.

Chances are if you reading this, you're a piece of Stephanie's puzzle. If not, I'm sure you are a piece of someone else's puzzle. As puzzle pieces we have a special job, to keep our loved ones alive through memories. The pieces we hold are so precious, and when we come together we help paint that picture of who they are. That’s how we get through days like today. As hard as it is, there is something beautiful about being able to share memories and love for our girl with the friends and family she left behind. I take comfort in knowing her perspective now is beautiful and perfect, and this past year for her, has been a celebration. I’ll also forever be thankful that I get to be one of her puzzle pieces. I’m also thankful for her friends and family that have allowed me to share in their grief, memories, and love.

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