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Hello 30

As I officially say “goodbye” to my twenties and hello to my thirties, I can’t help feeling super nostalgic today. As I look back at the end of my twenties, I experienced the best and worst times of my life all in a matter of a few years. I moved several states over which was wayyy harder than I had anticipated. I felt lost and didn’t know how to fit in this world that my husband had already established. I never had a doubt that Columbia was where we needed to be but I struggled finding my way and establishing my own roots. If I’m being honest, it’s only been in the last few months that I have felt like I have turned a corner with this whole, I’m-now-a-Missourian-thing. (But don’t worry, Bluegrass will always run through my veins)

Not long after I made the move, my best friend, Stephanie got cancer, Kyle and I got married, and then a few more months later Stephanie died. So I was a newlywed, in a strange town, without my go-to person on this earth, and quite frankly…I was a mess. (I swear Kyle is a superhero)

And then, Keith, my father-in-law, unexpectedly passed away a few more months after that. Life was hitting Kyle and me HARD. Oh, and the thing about life is that the world doesn’t stop when you’re hurting. You have to manage to adult and grieve at the same time. So I say all of this to share what I’ve learned:

1.       I learned about self-care. IT IS SO REAL and SO IMPORTANT. Yeah, Jessica, Chelsea, Joseph and my other adopted siblings, I KNOW I’m bossy and I’ve appointed myself (haha) as your third parent and I don’t take that title lightly. I enjoy taking care of my people, I thrive on it. But taking care of myself? I didn’t know what that was. It took my Godmother saying, “Are you going on your walks, Amanda?” for me to realize how important “me” time is, and how much my mood is affected when I stop doing it. Thankfully we got Ruby, who is the sweetest dog everrrr and is always down to go on walks with her mom. We started going on 2-3 walks a day and I found myself noticing the worlds beauty again! I also rediscovered my love for reading. Sure, I’ve never stopped reading, but I started making it a priority again and MAN it has helped. Soooo SO WHAT my LOF book club peeps if I’m averaging seven books a month now? I’m living my best life.
2.       Boundaries. It’s okay to set boundaries, it’s okay to say no. If you’re not in a good place you can’t be of any help to those around you. My mom used to put me in “time out” for really a breather after school because I would be so wound up (helllllooooo can you say type A?) I can even see that in my adult life. I need time to decompress, and that’s okay.  
3.       I’m an introverted homebody, and if I don’t want to go to that social gathering, it’s fine. Again, it’s okay to say no.
4.       People just want to be heard. My initial reaction is to help people. I want to help you with your problem. But sometimes people just want to be heard, they don’t want to be fixed. I’m still working on this (I know my sisters are like heck yes, you are) but a goal for my thirties is to listen more and talk less. Hold me accountable, Sista Sista OGs.
5.       Go to the doctor, and no, Urgent Care doesn’t count as your primary care physician. I don’t know what my generation has against having an established doctor but it’s important.
6.       Financial stability is so much more lit than those new pairs of TOMS. Have an emergency fund, save for retirement, pay off your debt. Budget!!! People laugh at Kyle and me because we have a budget line for Fitz, Ruby and Gus, but it works and necessary for us. 
7.       Lastly, I’ll leave you with words from my best friend forever. “Life is too short. Go on your dream vacation NOW and eat ice cream for dinner.” I will spend the rest of my life with this phrase in mind. My best friend lived her short life with such tenacity and made little moments still MOMENTS. I aim to do that, and I’m doing that for you, Steph.

Birthdays, mine and Stephanie’s, will probably always be hard because her and I love them so much. I miss her so much. So thank you to everyone who has made today special. Thank you to my husband for taking me to Disneyland and who is leaving work early so we can meet my favorite podcaster. Thank you to my sisters, adopted brother Cody, and my mom for making the long drive out here to really spend a day making me feel special. I know Stephanie would’ve loved to rock one of those shirts you guys made. 

Thank you to my parents for bringing me into this world and putting up with my sass. Thank you for husband for choosing me everyday and for putting up with my sass. Thank you to my siblings who see all of my ugliness and love me anyways. Thank you to the friends who didn’t give up on me when I hit rock bottom and when I was someone that wasn’t easy to be friends with. Most importantly, thank you to my Savior for never giving up on me, and for enduring all my anger and silence. Thank you for your patience and for this gift of life. 


Here’s to my 30s and to all of my people who make my life beautiful. I love you all.

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